This week at story time the librarian told the kids that they would be reading about bullies. She asked the kids what a bully was and there were usual answers of “sometimes they hurt you”, “sometimes they aren’t nice to you,” “sometimes they say mean things to you.”

The librarian leaned back in her chair and opened her mouth to segway as she readied the next book as another little girl added, “ And sometimes they can take you away.”

The librarian gave a quick, awkward giggle and said, “Well…that’s a kidnapper, and we don’t want that.”

Well that elevated quickly. All of us parents did that eyebrow raise with the smile where the sides of your mouth still tilt down. That classic parental expression of disbelief.

But at least it wasn’t my child. My child was the one the day before, however, who said he wanted bread when I asked him what he wanted for lunch while we were standing in the director’s office of a new preschool we were touring. You know, cuz I don’t feed him. Ever. I was a little worried I’d get a follow-up phone call since they had already remarked at the beginning of our tour how little he was when we introduced ourselves and they asked his age.

Kids say the darndest things. And at the darndest times. I’m three years into this parenting thing and so far my favorite is when they point to another kid and tell you what behavior that child is doing that is unacceptable while that child’s parent is standing Right.There. It took me several awkward exchanges to come up with the line, “His/her mommy/daddy will take care of him/her…ahem” [puts hand on his head and manually turns it so we can walk in the other direction away from the awkwardness].

Fortunately, the last thing my son said to me out loud in front of people was, “Mom, she’s pretty like Miss Aprille” (his preschool teacher this past year). Phew. Complimenting people out loud in front of their backs is a level of flattery that will get him far in life 😉