• When your three-year-old comes out of his bedroom and says “I peed in my shoe.” We walked into his room and sure enough — pee in his shoe, on his shoe, and around his shoe. Ugh. Someday I’m going to pee in MY shoe and see what kind of rush he experienced.
  • When the furniture crew delivers the long-awaited back-ordered last part of the couch for the basement and they find a plastic potato chip and hot dog from Bub’s shopping cart set nestled down in the couch cushions. Ugh. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have strangers find your wiener stuck in the couch cushions?
  • When you’re making silly snort noises with your baby and one snort goes awry and you spend the next five minutes coughing and choking.
  • Him: ”I want more macaroni and cheese!”

           Me: ”Ohhhh buddy, we don’t have anymore…Mommy ate it all. I didn’t know you’d have so much room in your tummy and want so much!”

           Him: ”NOOOOOOOO!”

           Me: “……….…do you want a peanut butter cookie?” Ugh

  • When you’re almost 30-years-old but still can’t handle hearing the word “penetration” in basketball commentary, “duty” as it relates to tasks, or “moist” in ANY context. And for the slightly dyslexic, “mainly” and mostly” can send you into a stammering, psychotic episode…maistly, monely, moistly, mainstley………don’t get me started on “who” and “how”…ugh.
  • When your husband is going to come home from work on half an hour and your house looks like the featured image for this blog. And when your toddler tells you, after throwing each individual piece of plastic food from his shopping cart, that “it’s too hard….it’s too messy” to clean up…..ugh.
  • When you go to pull up your Cartwheel app as you’re standing in line at Target and your phone dies. You know you’re only going to be missing out on $3.57 of savings by not having it, but the point is you never would have picked up those items had they NOT been on sale AND on the Cartwheel app.
  • When you get your kid a bowl of cereal with milk, cereal without milk, toast and peanut butter, and hot chocolate…all at his request, and then he doesn’t want any of it so you end up making a chicken sandwich for him for breakfast.
  • When you pick the wrong Walmart employee to ask if they sell vegetable glycerin for your homemade hand soap recipe and he responds with “Well I know where the vegetables are”…..ugh. And face palm.
  • When you know you have 5,000 other excellent stories on the subject but you’re drawing a complete blank because between the two of your kids they were up five times during the night so you’re a living example of how the zombie apocalypse is a real threat and you decide to just end your blog right there.