There are a lot of reasons why we moms chose the outfits we do in the mornings. Some of us are getting ready for work so we don an attractive pin skirt or flattering dress pants. Some of us are feeling trendy so we wear skinny jeans or leggings under a tunic. And some of us haven’t showered today and are throwing in the towel we didn’t use so we could just wear comfy clothes.

No matter what you decide to wear in the morning, you and every other mom in America probably did the same — turned in the mirror to see what your butt looked like in your outfit of choice.

Butts are fascinating. I actually can’t watch football on television because the butts are so distracting. Not because I’m attracted to them all or lusting after them all, but because that’s literally a lot of butts jiggling around on the field. And all kinds of shaped butts. It’s a downright biological wonderment.

I was whisking a cake mix by hand the other day (because the bowl to my KitchenAid was already in the refrigerator and I was too lazy to wash it) and had to stop because things were jiggling so much. So it makes me feel better when football players’ butts jiggle cuz they’re like, in shape and stuff.

Someday when I’m really bored (and all the moms shake their heads) I’m going to the mall and just people watch. And by people watch, I mean butt watch. Some moms seem very unaware that their butt doesn’t look good in certain things. Yes, leggings are by far the most comfortable choice of apparel for your lower appendages, but they have the smallest percentage of people who can actually wear them (in public). But that doesn’t seem to stop people. I came across this graphic on social media the other day and thought it was apropos:

I wish I could give credit for this image, but alas, it was just circulating on social media.

Some moms wear jeans that are so unflattering to their butts. I can speak to this since the jeans I’m currently wearing are absolutely shameful to my butt. Let it be known, I am not a hypocrite and I am awesome at self-awareness. My butt is basically tensed up in embarrassment right now. But they have the wide leg look I wanted today, so I’m just wearing a long shirt over my hips. Phew. Saved face. Those huge pockets on the back that cover your entire caboose. The lack of form sewn into the jeans. If you’ve always been wanting a wider, taller, flatter butt, those are the jeans to seek out.

My friend Christine sent me a text the other day that inspired this butt discussion. While playing with her one-year-old outside she got ants in her pants. Like, not the excited kind of metaphorical ants, the biting kind of literal ants. Turns out thongs aren’t just sexy…they’re functional when one needs to reduce chaffing. In her words, it’s “not quite Kim Kardashianesque. Note: Picture evidence will not be provided.”

Bummer. That would have made this blog post go viral for sure!

When you’re a mom your “delicates” drawer is full of underwear with evolving categories ranging from honeymoon, pre-kids, maternity, postpartum, and then the size that your body seems to have settled into. Some of your underwear actually acts like thongs, but it’s just because you haven’t come to terms with your mom butt 😛

So what am I getting at with all this butt discussion? I’m not really sure. Sometimes the train takes you down a track and you’re not really sure when to jump off. I guess I can come up with a few take-aways:

  1. Everyone has something about them that they’re insecure about. For some of us, it might be our butts. For others of us it’s our muffin tops, arm flaps, triple chins, spider veins, bow legs, or unstraightened teeth. Some of us allow our insecurities to alter our behavior, some of us are working to reverse that flaw that causes our insecurity, and some of us have accepted our flaw and the insecurity we feel is mostly suppressed. You’re not alone! But when you’re feeling insecure about something you can’t change about yourself (obviously we can all afford to lay off the soda and Coco Roos to change SOME of our insecurities), Isaiah 64:8 is such an amazing reminder of our relationship with God — “But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand” (ESV).
  2. Everyone has an initial though about someone. Choose to not be so critical. I realized that about myself a few years ago. It seemed like the first thought that popped into my head about anyone I walked past was so critical and cutting. Obviously I never voiced it (another save face move), but that doesn’t matter. What did that say about what was going on in my heart that the first thoughts that came to mind about the other people that God created and God loved unconditionally were so cutting?! Definitely not cool. Continuously pray a little Romans 12:2 into your life — that God would continue to renew and transform your mind to make you less like the world and more like Him.
  3. Everyone can be more mindful. Let’s be real — regardless of your body type, there’s a time and a place and a way to wear certain clothes. I’ve read both sides of the “why I’m quitting yoga pants” types of discussions that were going around on social media a few months ago. My take-away is that not everyone thinks the same as you do {gasp!}. Just be mindful of the messages you might be sending with your outfit and how your body type might contribute to that message in that particular outfit.

So today, whether you’re rocking a skirt, athletic shorts, or an awesome pair of conservative denims, know that your mom butt looks fabulous. Your mom butt is proud to offer you support as you need it throughout the day. And maybe do your mom butt a favor today and take the stairs instead 😛