Some nights of sleep when you’re a parent are just epic. And by epic, I mean so completely terrible it’ll bring you to the brink of tears just thinking about how you’ll be able to survive the next day of responsibilities after having had so little sleep. I’m convinced that huge dives in the stock market, sluggish traffic jams, and long wait times at medical clinics are just a handful of the unfortunate events caused by people who are parents who experienced the Boomerang Phenomenon the night before.

The Boomerang Phenomenon, as I like to call it, is when your child (or heaven forbid, children) bound out of bed shortly after being tucked into bed. This pattern then continues throughout the night for a variety of reasons. Sometimes for good reasons, sometimes for stupid reasons. Sometimes for no freaking reason at all.

Several weeks ago we had one such epic night in our household. Below is an actual account of the Boomerang Phenomenon we experienced, as well as a recording of how many Mattiuzzos were in our bed at any given minute. Mind you, not every time “2” was listed was it me and my husband. I didn’t even record the number of Mattiuzzos in my son’s bed that night.

11:56 a.m. — 4 Mattiuzzos
12:01 a.m. — 3 Mattiuzzos
12:04 a.m. — 2 Mattiuzzos
12:21 a.m. — 3 Mattiuzzos
12:23 a.m. — 1 Mattiuzzo
1:58 a.m. — 2 Mattiuzzos
2:30 a.m. — 3 Mattiuzzos
2:44 a.m. — 2 Mattiuzzos
4:44 a.m. — 1 Mattiuzzo
5:25 a.m. — 2 Mattiuzzos

If it weren’t for nights of the Boomerang Phenomenon I’m convinced the Pins on Pinterest would be considerably fewer, the number of hits on news articles would be less, blogs wouldn’t be written as often, friends wouldn’t exchange as many text messages, and you wouldn’t have the opportunity to “like” every.single.thing in your Newsfeed without the time and alertness you experience during a night of Boomerang wake ups.

Parents with Boomerang nights are a unique class of humanity who keep society moving forward. Well……and occasionally damaging society from the aforementioned survival mode level of exhaustion…with the stock market dips, traffic jams, and long doctor wait times…and stuff.

I actually owe this blog to my daughter’s third wake-up tonight.  I’ll also owe the stoned tired face and the twitching eye lid to her come morning. And before my daughter woke up the third time I was in the middle of an intense dream, apocalyptic in nature, and our three-year old walked in and announced that he wet the bed and wanted a sleeping bag on his floor. Upon crawling out of bed in a stupor, I realized I couldn’t feel my right arm. So it was a pretty full 3:20-4:20 a.m hour in my opinion. The more tired I am the more eye make up I tend to wear, so I’m anticipating looking like a hooker straight out of the ’80s today.

Have you been a victim of the Boomerang Phenomenon?