Communicable Diseases Roulette

Germs are everywhere. I know they’ve always been everywhere, but since having kids it’s as if I look through scope-like goggles that zero in on possible contaminants and red flashing “enemy” text pops up in my line of sight. My mind is often screaming throughout the day. DANGER!!! DANGER!!! Sometimes the enemy is a kid running around in the vicinity of my kid with snot dripping into their mouths. CHANGE COURSE!!! ABORT MISSION!!! my brain yells. Sometimes the enemy is the stack of dimes and pennies my kid is having fun putting in his piggy bank one by one. […]

By |August 8th, 2016|A Day in the Life|0 Comments

Ego Check

Back when I was working full time, I was driving into work late one morning after an early doctor appointment. A large, grungy pick-up truck pulled up to my left as I was stopped at a light about two miles away from the office. I kept my gaze fixed ahead so as to not incite any kind of unwanted attention. But something in the corner of my eye caught my attention — a brown, hulking figure slowly leaned forward in the front passenger window of that car next to me. Frustration and annoyance welled up within in me as I […]

By |August 5th, 2016|A Day in the Life|1 Comment

Expectorating and Other Big Words

I love vocabulary words. I can attribute it to my high school english teacher, Mr. Gerlach. I had a mild panic attack when I got my schedule that junior year because I heard Mr. Gerlach’s class was brutal. He had earned a reputation. He had weekly vocabulary AND grammar tests in addition to regular english classy things. But in a world of “LOL” and “their/they’re”, I’m abundantly grateful that he shouldered the responsibility of infusing the students he taught with extra smarts. Ironically, that was the year I had my four wisdom teeth removed and I still managed to gain […]

By |August 3rd, 2016|Mommy Life|2 Comments

Me, My Doctor, and Hypochondria

I’ve been blessed to have great medical professionals in my life. I feel like they’ve been very patient to hear me out, explain things to me, and answer questions when I contact them for advice.

But I’m going to have to tell Dr. Ryan I will no longer be needing his chiropractic services. The other day I was laying on my back on the floor with my head tilted to one side when my toddler saw an opportunity to carpe diem and sat on my face. My neck cracked a few times. Sure, the next day it was throbbing and I […]

By |August 1st, 2016|A Day in the Life|4 Comments

Scatteredcrapstitis

I’ve reached a very comfortable, confident phase of life now that I’m in my thirtieth year of life. It’s really been an incredible year of growth for me. But I feel as though, despite all of the personal gains, I’m developing a bit of a reputation. I’ve been living in a new city for the last year, so impressions are a big deal in this sensitive, rapport-building season of my life. I mean, I already let it slip that I shop at Goodwill and get haircuts with Great Clips coupons…

I suffer from Scatteredcrapstitis. It’s a condition that causes me to […]

By |July 26th, 2016|A Day in the Life|1 Comment

Next Rest Stop

Nothing gets your bladder percolating or your Irritable Bowel Syndrome flaring up like passing a rest stop off the highway and seeing a big blue sign a few minutes later announcing “NEXT REST STOP 47 MILES.”

FOR-TY SE-VEN MIIII-LES. Zero other options. Seven hour road trip. I felt waves of nausea hitting me, twinges in my bladder, and was sure the air was filling with the scent of toots from the kids in the back seat who I knew would need a bathroom the minute one wasn’t available because #MurphysLaw. The next minutes of that drive were intense as the wave […]

By |July 25th, 2016|Mommy Life|0 Comments

Tupperware Tetris

“I need to buy some more tupperware. There’s like, no tupperware here.”

“…oh…”

I despise cleaning out the refrigerator. I’ve actually started putting a lot of leftovers in sandwich baggies if the consistence allows so that if two, three months pass and an array of pastel colors have overtaken that food item I can just toss it without there being the financial investment of a $0.64 Glad food storage container. It’s bad enough I wasted food at that point. […]

By |April 8th, 2016|A Day in the Life|2 Comments

Thanks to a Bobby Pin

My husband fell more in love with me the other day. And it made me feel really good in my heart place.

I was dishing up dinner and my husband yelled to me that our three-year-old had pushed the lock our bedroom doorknob when he pulled it shut to run to the living room…thus locking us all out of the master bedroom. I leaned backward to look out of the kitchen and down the hallway and saw my husband running his fingers along the top of the door frames hoping to find a key. Like all self-sufficient stay-at-home moms, I grabbed […]

By |April 4th, 2016|Uncategorized|2 Comments

Nutritional Intervention

I realized the other day after posting a Facebook status that I joke way too much about my poor nutritional choices. I mean, the poor nutritional choices I make are minimal compared to how many wonderful choices I make, but only posting the poor choices portrays me as someone needing an Michelle Obama-esque intervention. For instance, here are a few of my latest posts which highlight sub-par nutritional choices:

“When you call the pediatrician to discuss the hives your toddler broke out with over the weekend and you confess you’re sure they’re not food-induced since all said toddler had that morning […]

By |April 1st, 2016|A Day in the Life|0 Comments